Annoyingly Me

A Rant Poem ©2025 Deah Curry. All Rights Reserved

I never aspired to be typical

or normal like everyone else

forming the statistical mean

of science-based assumptions

expectations, protocols

Oh, I have passed as normal

whatever that is

when it served my purposes

such as at the bank

setting up a line of credit

or in a job interview

when I needed an income

but this is not the time for that game

Now is the time

to insist on being fully

gloriously even annoyingly me

rough edges and all

which now is meant

to warn the team

managing terminal symptoms:

I AM NOT

and will not even try to be

your typical hospice patient

Perhaps I have entered the system

too young at only 75

regardless of a

six month prognosis

already outlived

Too mobile

despite weak knees

aching legs

sometimes painful back

and the sense that

gravity has twice the pull

as it did in youth

wearing me out

making me pant

like an Everest climber

just walking to car

or bathroom some days

Too competent

in mind and spirit

to accept narcotics

for momentary pain

or bend to relentless

pressure to engage

in pharma-experimentation

for the benefit of those

who’re curious what might work

if needed

Too aware of dwindling

energies for meaningless

activities, conversations, people

but gaining consciousness of

projects still left to complete

in the unknown time allowed

and having cognitive wherewithal

to focus on the most important

for thus is the living

of my quality of life

Too empowered

in my elder agency

to put up with

bureaucratic nonsense

and visitors disregarding

rules for interacting with me

legibly printed and posted:

wear the damn paper booties

to protect my floors from

schmutz and wetness on your shoes

I do not have the strength

to vacuum and mop your mess anymore

Too independent still

to be compliant

unquestioning, easy,

too contrary

to die faster

for the benefit of

Medicare’s bottom line

So get used to it, world.

I may not be here to stay

but I’m not yet

ready to go.